


duties of heart

by shaerrah



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura's a Jedi too but she's a queen as well so..., Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Angst, Break Up, F/M, Fluff, Jedi Shiro, Making Up, One (1) Fight Scene, Shallura Secret Santa 2017, mentions of keith - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-03-01 08:13:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13290771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shaerrah/pseuds/shaerrah
Summary: They were both Jedi, but she was also a Queen. There were worlds of differences between them, yet they can only find peace and solace in each other. But between an Order that forbids it and her position that demands that if she marry, it must be for the good of her people: is there truly any hope for them?





	duties of heart

**Author's Note:**

> Shallura Secret Santa gift for [Catherine](http://spn-samifer.tumblr.com/)!

Allura had been getting better at meditating for longer periods of time. It was something that she had taken great comfort in these days. Aside from the inner peace that it gave her, it helped her make decisions more easily. Unlike her father, she wasn’t able to make quick decisions. Also unlike her father, she had to be a leader to a million Altean refugees on an alien planet, hiding away from two Empires that had taken everything away from them in a matter of days. 

The Jedi did help, she was one of them, after all. After Altea had been ravaged by both the Sith and Galra, the million that managed to survive were led to a small planet across the galaxy and over the past year, construction of settlements had begun. She supposed that it was because they felt a twinge of guilt for not arriving in time to save her people or planet, but she felt a certain resentment towards them. 

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard the door slide open and then close. The presence was familiar, soothing even. It was the only comfort she had had in the past year. 

_ ‘Shiro…’  _

She opened her eyes, a gentle smile appearing on her face as she turned to greet him. 

“Your Majesty,” he bowed. 

She rolled her eyes before running over, her arms wrapping around him. His arms wrapped around her in response immediately, holding her close to his chest, burying his face into the crown of her head. 

“You really don’t have to call me that when we’re alone,” she spoke finally, not moving an inch from his embrace. 

“Force of habit,  _ my Queen _ ,” she could feel his smirk forming against her hair. 

Finally she pulled away slightly, moving to take a good look at him. Her smile dissipated into a frown, her hand coming up to his cheek. He looked worn down. Dark circles under his eyes looked prominent against his pale skin. He wasn’t this pale. He hadn’t been sleeping. 

“Shiro…” she whispered. He responded by leaning into her touch, kissing the soft skin of her palms. 

“It’s alright,” he tried to reassure her, but she didn’t believe it. 

Shaking her head, “You don’t have to keep things from me. You haven’t been sleeping because something is troubling you.” 

It was true, Shiro seemed to have a hard time hiding his thoughts and feelings from her these days. He used to be a master at keeping his emotions buried deep, but with her? It seemed like his guard dropped without realizing it. 

“It’s just…” he gently removed her hand from his cheek. “Nightmares. It’s silly.” 

She clung onto him, her arms coming around him again, holding him as close as possible. “If it’s troubling you so much, it’s not silly.” 

When he didn’t say anything, she gently pressed, “It was about Keith, wasn’t it?” 

His eyes closed, squeezing shut, as if to hide away from her. Allura knew the subject of Keith wasn’t one that Shiro liked to discuss. Still, keeping it in like this, it had to have been eating away at him. 

“Allura…” he sighed. 

“What did the Grand Master say?” she asked, knowing that he would’ve gone to him as soon as he was having trouble sleeping. 

Shiro remained silent for a few seconds, only deciding to tell her when he saw the pleading look in her eyes. 

“He just said that I need to learn to let it go, that Keith’s lost. If I don’t let him go, it’ll be a path down the dark side. So I’ve been trying to follow his advice,” he muttered. 

At his answer, her arms dropped, stepping back. Her face was still, but her eyes said it all. She was furious. 

“That has got to be the worst counsel I’ve ever heard in my life! Let it go? Ha! I’d like to see him lose someone near and dear to him in that way but it probably wouldn’t happen because he’s so devoid of feelings and…” she ranted but she was cut off by Shiro’s finger on her lips. 

“Allura, that’s enough. You may not like him, but he is still the Grand Master. Maybe he has a point.” 

Allura arched an eyebrow and crossed her arms, “Do tell me what point he has? He’s not allowing you to deal with this properly.” 

“I’m a Jedi,” was his answer. 

Allura’s face went gentle and she placed a hand on his cheek once more, “But you’re also a man. We may have to abide by the Council, but it doesn’t mean that they’re always correct.” 

Shiro didn’t argue, he did speak. He just allowed himself to enjoy her warmth. At the Temple, he wasn’t allowed this comfort. 

“You should sleep,” she said, grabbing his hand, leading him towards the bed. “I’ll stay with you.” 

He froze in place, “Are you sure that’s wise? You’re a Queen after all, we can’t be…” 

“It’s just sleep,” she reminded, “You’re in need of it. Forget that I’m a queen. Today, I’m just Allura. When we’re alone, I’m just Allura. Please let me…” 

He still looked uncertain but allowed her to lead him to the bed. Though it was nowhere near as extravagant or large as it had been back on Altea, it was certainly more comfortable than any bed he’d slept on. 

Once he was tucked safely in the sheets, Allura slipped in as well. Their arms wrapped around each other tightly, her face nuzzled into the crook of his neck. 

“Won’t someone…?” he asked, concerned. 

“No. I asked to be left alone till dinner tonight. So long as we’re awake by then. Did anyone see you?” 

Shiro shook his head, “Probably not a good thing though, if I can slip in, so can an assassin.” 

Allura sighed, “You seem to forget that I’m a Jedi, not just a mere ruler. Don’t worry, no one knows where we are.” 

“But…” he tried to say but was silenced. 

“ _ Sleep _ ,” her voice was gentle but nevertheless commanding. 

Shiro smiled tiredly, snuggling into the crown of her head. She was a Queen after all, who was he to refuse?

* * *

 

When he woke up, the room seemed to be illuminated in orange and pink. The sun would soon set, indicating that he’d slept for quite a bit. He looked around and saw the silhouette of his beloved queen looking out the window. It was rare that he could just stare and appreciate her beauty like this, even if the sleep hadn’t completely left his eyes as yet. He could see the orange glow touch her skin, illuminating the pale pink markings on her cheek. Truly, her beauty was ethereal. 

“Wow…” he thought out loud, his eyes widening at the realization and her face slowly turned to smile down at him. 

“Did you have a good rest?” she asked, making her way to the bed. She settled down next to him again, till they were face to face. 

Shiro chuckled, “Yeah, better than I’ve had in ages. Thank you Allura.” 

Her smile didn’t leave her face, “Then maybe you should spend some more time here. If it’ll help you sleep better.” 

He continued to smile, as he reached out, her own hand meeting his half way. “I wish I could. But no one knows I’m here, so I have to head back tonight.” 

“Tonight? But you only just got here,” she softly whined, squeezing his hand. 

“Yes, but no one knows I’m here. The longer I’m gone, the more they’ll start to suspect this. Also if your servants and guards caught me in your bed…” he shuddered at the thought of being caught. He knew that this wouldn’t last forever and it left a hollow feeling in his gut. 

Despite both of them being Jedi, there were worlds of differences between them. She was a Queen, exceptions had to be made for her. She’d been trained away from the Temple as she was her father’s only heir and she would eventually have to marry to continue her line. Shiro was a Jedi, bound by his commitments. 

“You’re making that face again,” her voice cut right through his thoughts. “Don’t worry about it Shiro. No one is going to find out.” 

“I know it’s just…I’m trying to spend as much time with you before…” Shiro trailed off, his chest constricting, not being able to say the words. 

“Before?” she questioned, “Shiro, what’s wrong?” 

“You’ll have to marry eventually. And it’ll be to another royal from another planet that would be advantageous to you and your people. Even if I wasn’t a Jedi, I wouldn’t be able to give you what you so desperately need now. Even as a Jedi, I can’t…” he explained, taking deep breaths as he spoke. He didn’t want to think about losing her, but he knew that he eventually would. 

“As Queen, it’s my decision to decide what’s best for my people. But as Allura, you give me the most important thing. It’s not just your love, you give me strength.” 

His eyes closed at that. He wouldn’t pretend like her words were much comfort. They were bound and it seemed so unfair. But duty was duty and commitments were commitments. They couldn’t be like every other pair in love in the galaxy because...well...they weren’t like every other pair in love. 

“Is that going to be enough?” he asked. “For you?” 

“You’re more than enough, you’ve always been. As for the Council, we’ll find a way to convince them,” she soothed gently. 

Shiro felt every muscle in his body tense up, “Convince them? Convince them of what?” 

She smiled, “Us.” 

Shiro froze and his eyes widened. No, she couldn’t have been planning to do this. She couldn’t. She just couldn’t. It killed him to do so, but he let go of her hand and moved away. He ignored the look of confusion on her face as he got out of bed. 

“I need to be on my way, it’s already late,” it was a lie, but it seemed like she had no idea what she was implying. 

As much as he didn’t want to lose her, as much as he wanted to believe in her words, it was impossible. His heart broke with every step he took away from the bed, but it would probably be better for both of them in the long run. She wasn’t thinking properly. She couldn’t give into her heart’s wishes and put her already struggling race into even more straights. 

“Shiro wait!” she called after him but he kept walking, opening the door and hastening down the hall. 

“Shiro, what’s wrong? You can’t just walk away from me like this!” she continued. 

“I’m sorry, my Queen, but I must,” he finally responded, taking on a more formal tone. 

This gave her pause. Shiro’s back was to her, but he could feel it. The realization and hurt dawning on her. He hated having to do this. But he was a Jedi Knight, the exceptions made for her could not be made for him. 

“Shiro,” she whispered, her voice breaking. “Look at me.” 

His feet were firmly planted in place, daring not to follow her order. 

“If you want me to be a Queen, I will. You are in my castle and I command you to look at me,” she ordered, her voice louder. 

He didn’t dare disobey her this time and turned around, his eyes straining to look at her face. Her brows were furrowed, tears at the corner of her eyes, threatening to fall. He’d hurt her and he hated himself for it. 

“I-” he started but stopped. 

“You what?” she yelled, not caring who heard them. “Tell me Shiro! You what?” 

“I-We can’t do this. We can’t just be thinking of ourselves. Against my better judgment, knowing full well that this could get me thrown out of the Jedi Order, I fell in love with you. I let myself get attached to you. It was careless on my part,” he finished. This wasn’t a complete lie. It seemed like every time he’d formed an attachment, things ended disastrously. Keith had been thrown out of the Order and that led him down the path to the dark side. And Keith had just been a dear friend, Allura was more. She was the most important bond he’d ever formed. But, as he reminded himself over and over, he was a Jedi Knight. Attachments were forbidden for a reason, perhaps this was the Force’s way of finally teaching him that lesson. 

“We can’t? Or you don’t want to?” she accused. “You don’t want to go against the Council, when all they have been is being the reason for your suffering!” 

“Allura!” he warned. “ _ I’m  _ responsible for my own suffering. They wouldn’t have had to become involved if I had followed their rules in the first place.” 

“You’re not a droid, please! Let me be here for you!” she pleaded, her words cutting at his heart. He wanted nothing more than to allow himself to feel weak this once and take her in his arms. But he couldn’t. And he  _ wouldn’t.  _

He turned on his heel and began walking away, blocking out her pleas and sobs. He had to be strong for the both of them. This was the right thing. He couldn’t be cruel and allow her to foster such fantasies, ones where the Council would approve of them and everything would be okay. He couldn’t allow himself to hope for that. She would become a target easily if she were to become the wife of a Jedi Master. He couldn’t allow such an attachment that would put her in danger. 

As he hopped in his small cruiser and flew into the sky, through the atmosphere, and away from the planet, he allowed silent tears to fall. 

“I’m so sorry, Allura. I wish things could be different…”

* * *

 

Through all his reasoning, for the first time in his life, he resented the fact that he was a Jedi. He knew that he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t help it. The one thing in his life that had brought him the greatest joy, now brought him the deepest sorrow. And as his cruiser sped through the empty darkness of space, it seemed like the perfect metaphor for his heart… 

Allura spent less time meditating in the days that followed Shiro’s departure. She didn’t want to meditate, she didn’t want to think. Her temper seemed to have a shorter fuse these days. She ended up yelling at the poor guards for not being stationed at every opening in the small castle, despite them being exactly where they’d been ordered to be. If Coran tried to reach out, she just told him off. For once though, she apologized. Coran was the closest thing to a father that she had. 

“I’m going to go train,” she announced one day, after listening to the people. Her problems seemed so much smaller than theirs, as most of it was with food rationing and a lack of proper currency. 

“But, my Queen, we still have issue of…” 

“ _ I said _ ,” she enunciated every word, “ _ I’m going to go train _ .” 

Even training didn’t seem to give her much solace. It was just a broken heart, but it felt so much greater. It wasn’t just that Shiro had left her and given her a string of excuses, she  _ knew  _ that it had hurt him to do it. She wanted desperately to not be angry with him, knowing that he was just doing his duty, but she couldn’t help it. The way the Order was going, it was doomed to fail. 

As she practiced her stances and twirled her lightsaber around, she found that with each movement, she felt anger creep up over her. 

“Stupid Order, with these stupid rules that don’t even make sense...how can one go through life like that? They’re a bunch of droids,” she growled. 

_ ‘Indeed, the Jedi are quite close-minded in their views…’ _

She spun around, looking around for the source of the voice, a cross look etched on her face. 

“Who’s there?” she demanded, getting into a dueling stance, holding her lightsaber out. 

_ ‘You cannot see me...but I have your best interests in mind...the Jedi Order is doomed to fail…’ _

This made her freeze. The voice, where was it coming from? She looked everywhere, knowing she wouldn’t see anything. 

“I look out for myself, leave me be…” 

The voice said nothing more after that, but its final words replayed over and over in her mind. Was she part of a failing cause? Between their dogmatic views and unhealthy ways of dealing with emotions, it certainly seemed so. Denying people of the basic needs: love, attachment, being allowed to feel negative emotions...it was easy to see why so many treaded down the path of the dark side. 

Perhaps that’s what led Keith down the path as well, but she pushed these thoughts out of her head. If Shiro wanted her to forget about him, she’d do it. A dull pain ached in her chest then, as if to remind her that it would be foolish to, but she ignored it. 

If this was her path, she’d walk down it, no matter how much it hurt. But she wouldn’t give into the dark side. Her people wouldn’t suffer because of such a folly…

* * *

 

Shiro’s life hadn’t known normal since Keith left the Order, since he saw Altea destroyed, or since he’d met Allura. He’d hoped by keeping it all in and burying it in the deepest recesses of his mind, it would return to normal. Needless to say, it didn’t. 

He felt his days go by in a blur, not paying much attention to his surroundings. It took every ounce of will to snap himself out of it, that despite any pain that he was feeling, he needed to go on with his days. He had young padawans to train, then he had to help Lance get his dueling abilities back to where they were. 

Naturally, after that one incident where Lance overrode his body with Force energy, it had not recovered properly. There were days where it bothered him, where he seemed to resent it all, but more than that he had drive. If he could no longer duel, he would hone his skills in other ways. Since the ways of the mind were obviously not his strong suit, Pidge had him sharpening his skills in the ways of the Force. He’d made a lot of progress over the year, but he wanted to learn how to duel again. Despite Shiro’s near unwillingness to train someone one on one, Lance was a different story. He wasn’t Keith, he didn’t run the risk of becoming like him either. 

So that afternoon, they met in a large empty room, designated for dueling. 

“Don’t go easy on me, okay?” Lance requested. 

At this Shiro frowned, “It’s not about going easy on you. Your body still can’t do what it used to be able to, so we’re going back to the basics.” 

“But I already know the basics,” he whined. Shiro, however, did not relent.  

“You asked me to train you, then follow my instructions,” he sounded more irritated than he intended. 

Lance pouted but still followed instructions. He hadn’t dueled much over the year and his senses in battle had most likely dulled. The helmet that covered his eyes while a small sphere floated around. Lance hit the sphere 75% of the time, which normally would’ve satisfied Shiro. But today, he wasn’t particularly pleased. 

“Search your feelings,” he repeated for the millionth time. 

“Got it Shiro, don’t need you to be repeating yourself,” Lance groaned. 

“Then do as I say! You should be getting this perfectly Lance! I thought you’ve been training with Pidge on this,” once again, his frustrations were coming out. 

The small sphere stopped as the helmet came off, “Relax Shiro, I’ve been getting most of it!” 

“You should be getting all of it, you’re a Jedi Knight, not a child who’s new to the Order!” 

Lance was about to bite the bait and argue back, but his mouth closed. Instead, “Are you okay? You seem on edge.” 

The concern in Lance’s voice seemed to mirror someone else. A someone Shiro was desperately trying to forget. 

“I’m fine. I’ll be better once you can do this in your sleep,” he answered. 

Lance shook his head, “You’re not. You seem angry over something. You’ve been like this since you came back from New Altea.” 

This made Shiro pause and his eyes widened. He’d told no one when he’d gone last. He snuck out when he knew for a fact no one would be paying attention, he’d even played a few mind tricks on the guards to make sure that they didn’t say anything. 

“How did you…?” 

Lance snorted, “Shiro, you’re great at hiding your emotions, so no it wasn’t that obvious. But ever since you met the Queen, anytime she’s brought up, you get a look on your face. At first I didn’t even notice, but Pidge did. Hunk and I figured it out after a while too.” 

Shiro’s face hardened, “Whatever you may think, it’s not the case.” 

Lance sighed, pushing a bit, “You know, I may be loyal to the Order and I love the Jedi, but they’re not right about everything.” 

Shiro’s breath got caught his throat at the mention of that. Those words, they sounded exactly like…

“That’s enough, Lance,” he ordered, though his voice went quiet. 

“Shiro…” he tried to say, but Shiro held up his mechanical prosthetic arm. 

“I don’t want to hear it, Lance. Regardless of what you three may think, it is not the case. There’s nothing between the Queen and I. There can be nothing between the two of us. I will not speak on this again, is that understood?” 

Lance frowned but nodded. Shiro turned to leave but before he did, Lance spoke again. 

“Just because there isn’t allowed to be anything between you two, it doesn’t mean that there isn’t.” 

Shiro flinched and clenched his fists but continued walking. Lance wasn’t trying to provoke him, he truly wasn’t. Every word he had said was true, but they couldn’t be. 

They never should’ve been to begin with…

* * *

 

“Absolutely not!” Allura’s temper flared up at such a proposition. “I refuse! Or are you forgetting that his father is the reason our planet was destroyed and most of our people were murdered!” 

The advisors were at their wit’s end with her, Coran was trying to soothe them both, and Allura was just about to rip her hair out. Of all possible marriage proposals, this had to be the worst one yet! 

“Yes, My Queen, but he is estranged from his father…” one advisor said, Allura’s eyes narrowed. 

“All the more reason not to accept. And estranged is an absolute understatement! I will absolutely not!” she thundered, finality in her voice. 

“Perhaps if you just consider it…” they suggested. 

“I said, I absolutely will not! Now is there anything else?” she demanded, although the tone she was taking indicated that she was in no mood to discuss anything else that evening. 

“Nothing more, Your Majesty,” they managed to say before she pushed her chair back and stood up. 

“Very well, meeting adjourned.” 

She stormed down the hallway, servants staying out of her way for fear of being reprimanded or worse. 

She slid into her quarters and slammed the door shut. Tears began streaming down her face as soon as she knew that she could not be seen or heard. It wasn’t just the marriage, the intense stress of it all was getting to her. She was nowhere ready to take on the task. A million Alteans weren’t much, especially compared to the glory they once had been, but it was still a lot to take on. 

They were on a new planet, one which they knew very little about. They were only learning the terrain and weather patterns now, there were food shortages, looting seemed to be an everyday occurrence, and this gave more weight to making a good marriage. 

“I miss you, father. I wish I knew what to do, but I don’t. And I feel like I’m failing my people…” 

‘ _ Then your path should be clear… _ ’ a quiet voice whispered. 

“You again,” there was venom in Allura’s voice. 

‘ _ I mean you no harm. You need power, it’s the only way to save your people. And yourself. The Jedi won’t help you, but the power can. The dark side is the only way to truly free yourself…’  _

Allura’s breath hitched at the mention of the dark side. 

“I will never…” but her voice wavered. She sounded so weak and she hated it. Had she truly gotten so desperate? 

‘ _ You don’t say it with conviction. Embrace it...accept the Emperor’s son...it will save your people. You will find happiness again…’  _

Her eyes widened at the suggestion of this. She couldn’t say that she knew much about the Emperor’s son, only that he and his son clashed frequently to the point where his son had left. However, this did not mean that he’d been completely disowned and he was still an heir. But the Galra Empire were so intertwined with the Dark Side, second only to the Sith. Both Empires were out for her blood. 

“What do I do?” she sunk to her knees. 

Maybe she could meditate, maybe that wouldn’t work. Her sense of peace was gone. In truth, she hadn’t had much of it over the past year, but she had Shiro. She fell in love and it had made her strong. Now it seemed to be doing everything but doing just that. 

“Damn you, Shiro. Damn the Jedi Order. Damn everything…” 

Why did she even bother trying to hold up the ideals of an Order that seemed to be getting more narrow-minded and fearful every generation? 

And in that moment, it seemed like everything was clear. Like the answer was staring at her right in the face. She may be a Jedi, but she was a Queen first. And damn it all to hell, her people came first. If power was what she needed, she would get it. If a marriage to someone she knew she would just barely stand to be around would help, she would do just that as well. 

‘ _ Good, you will be a powerful and revered queen indeed. Your people will prosper… _ ’ 

She didn’t care for the voice much, but it was right. So it was settled. She knew what she had to do now. 

She would have to hold a council meeting in the morning, telling them of her plans. It was time she did what was best for both herself and her people. This would only be the beginning…

* * *

 

Weeks sped by, but Shiro had almost lost all concept of time. The Council wanted to see him, he was dreading it. Only time they wanted to see anyone was for an appointment to the Council, promotion, mission, or to reprimand them. He was pretty sure he wasn’t getting the first two, so it had to be either of the latter. He wasn’t looking forward to either of it. 

Pidge had been summoned with him for whatever reason, but her demeanor seemed to be the exact opposite. She looked confident, a glint in her eye. What was she up to? 

The door to the Council Chamber slid open, grave looks on each Master’s face. Iverson looked cross as usual, Slav looked apprehensive and ready to spew out random statistics at everyone. The other masters looked more or less the same. 

Shiro bowed, as did Pidge. Rising back up to meet Iverson’s face, it almost looked like he was about to get reprimanded. He braced himself. 

“We’ve just received some distressing news from New Altea,” he spoke and Shiro found himself standing straight up, stiff as a pillar. His first thought flickered to Allura, wondering if she was hurt. Or possibly worse. Shiro’s stomach twisted at the very thought. 

“What sort of distressing news?” he spoke carefully, trying to keep his face and emotions in check. 

“It seems that Queen Allura has decided to accept a marriage proposal from the heir to the Galra throne,” he informed. Shiro’s eyes widened at this, unable to hide his shock and horror. Allura? Marrying the son of the person responsible for destroying her home? That was hunting her still? But why? 

“That can’t be right, the Queen always felt strongly about them. She would never so easily give in unless she was forced to,” he reasoned. 

“There’s a 94.3% chance that she decided this of her own volition. She was the one who informed her council. But at  the same time, if the Galra Prince could find her, it would be strategic for keeping her people from being systematically wiped out,” Slav chimed in. 

“But…” Shiro started but stopped himself. No, he couldn’t show it. Unluckily for him, Iverson caught it. 

“You seem to care for her very deeply,” he commented, suspicion coating every syllable. “You did spend a lot of time with her.” 

Shiro clenched his jaw before relaxing, “I came to know her when we were relocating the refugees. She’s a kind-hearted woman willing to do anything for the good of her people. Which is why I can’t imagine why she’d make such a decision.” 

From the corner of his eye, he could see Pidge giving him look. He knew very well that she knew, but chose to keep her mouth shut. He was grateful for it. 

“I see, but we cannot let this happen. This news isn’t well-known but after he left the Galra, he joined the ranks of the Sith. It’s even less known that his mother had been trained in the ways of the dark side,” Iverson informed. Shiro stayed frozen as the weight of the information dawned on him. 

_ No.  _

“Then I propose we find her a new match,” Pidge finally spoke up. Shiro turned to her, looking shocked. 

There was a buzz among the Council, some agreeing to hear it out while others protesting that it was not their place to get involved in politics. After all, they were in charge of protecting the galaxy from the Sith. They would have to put a stop to this, but it was not their business to get involved in political or personal affairs. 

“Hear me out. If the Galran Prince is truly among the Sith and they marry, they’ll have complete control over her and the people. The Queen is a very powerful Force user and losing her to the dark side wouldn’t benefit us in the slightest,” she explained. 

Iverson and Slav exchanged looks, skeptical but they weren’t keeping it off the table. 

“All right, who do you propose then?” 

At this she smiled, “Shiro.” 

Shiro’s reaction was immediate, “Pidge!” His eyes went wide and his mouth went dry, unable to form words. He had grabbed her shoulder, if he applied any more pressure, he’d crush it. But Pidge didn’t wince, not even a bit. She was calm and collected as ever. 

The Council’s reaction was worse, however. 

“Are you mad?” one Mastered shouted out. 

“He’s a Jedi Master! How could you even dare to suggest such a thing?” another chimed in. 

“There’s a 99.99999% chance that this will not work,” Slav yelled out. For the first time, everyone could tell that it was a nonsense statistic. 

“It’s impossible! He’s a Jedi, he cannot take a wife nor start a family. Shiro already has a problem with attachment. And attachment leads to…” Iverson began. 

“Yes, attachment leads to greed, greed leads to anger, anger leads to suffering, and suffering is the path to the dark side. Yeah I’ve heard it all before,” she waved, dismissively. 

“Pidge, stop this right now,” Shiro whispered. She opted to ignore him. 

“That’s a very narrow way of looking at it. On the contrary, love and attachment are essential to anyone’s life. And even if this isn’t about love, it could benefit the Jedi.” 

“It’s impossible,” Iverson shook his head. 

“Because you said so. Special exceptions for marriage and starting families have been made for at least one every generation,” she went on. 

“Yes, if a species is on the verge of extinction,” Iverson pointed out. 

“Alteans are dwindling at just one million, give or take,” Pidge countered. 

“Shiro isn’t Altean, last I checked…” 

“Enough!” Shiro yelled out, shocking everyone. “Enough. Thank you Pidge, but maybe the Council is right, it would be too dangerous for me. It was not your place to make such a decision without coming to be me first. And I refuse.” 

Some Masters looked pleased at this. 

Pidge crossed her arms indignantly, “Well if you won’t see reason, you will all be pleased to know how the Jedi are being perceived around the galaxy lately. Cowards and rotting from within…” 

“Pidge!” Shiro hissed, “That’s quite enough!” 

But the Council room fell deathly quiet. Some members genuinely looked alarmed, some didn’t look convinced, and others looked as if they knew the truth for a while but buried it deep. Either way, no one looked happy with her words. 

“We…” Iverson paused, trying to find the words. “Even if we were to push this idea forward, it goes against the Code.” 

Pidge softened, “A code written by Jedi. A code that seems to not realize that love, relationships, and even attachments are essential to our Order. If we close ourselves off to it, we will become weak.” 

Another hush fell over the chamber. Shiro was lost in his own thoughts. Was this what Allura had wanted? Is this the future that she envisioned. Was it possible to give it to her now while doing right by her people? He was still frightened. He was frightened of what this would do to him. What it  _ had  _ done to him. But then a thought came to him. Had he really been thinking of her the whole time? What was good for her? What was good for the both of them? The ugly truth washed over him when he realized that no, he hadn’t done right by her. He’d only thought of himself. He had been so afraid for his own soul that he completely left hers to be swallowed by darkness. And now, she had agreed to marry a Sith. All because he had been too frightened to trust in her. To trust in what they had built. 

“What do you say, Shiro?” Iverson asked him, quietly. 

It took Shiro a full second to grasp the weight of the question. The decision was being thrust on him. Whether or not he would give into his feelings and prove his strength as a Jedi. And for the first time, he was beginning to see what he’d been told so many times before:  _ the Council didn’t always know what was right _ .

“I will do as the Council directs,” he said, choosing his words wisely. Iverson looked slightly irritated by this. 

“Yes, but search your feelings, is marrying a Queen of a dying people truly the best course of action for you?” he asked once again. 

Once again, it was thrust back at him. And then Shiro thought. Did he really mind being cast out of the Order? Did all his worth truly come from how this Council of flawed individuals perceived him? Since he had left Allura, he had found no happiness or solace. With her, he had felt happiness and a chance to be himself. 

Then there was Keith, who had been kicked out of the Order for essentially doing the right thing. Was losing everything that made him happy truly worth it? 

He could answer that himself: No, it wasn’t. And he knew what he had to do. 

“My feelings say, that maybe Pidge’s suggestion is the right course to take.” 

He took a deep breath, ready to deal with the consequences. He had to be honest with himself, there was a certain sense of relief in all of this. They were studying him but he kept his face stony. He would not crumble under their scrutiny. But he did say, “Making an alliance through marriage would show how willing the Jedi are to help people in need.” 

There was yet another buzz of chatter, the council conferring with one another. Pidge glanced at him from the corner of her eye. Shiro stood, his face unreadable. Once again, he was ready for the consequences. It was ridiculous that there had to be any to begin with. Before the rule was implemented, Jedi were allowed to marry and have families. Then there were those who were falling to the dark side, so it was deduced that attachments and emotional attachments were the root cause. Until Keith left the Order, Shiro never once questioned it. Now it all seemed so absurd. 

The room fell silent as the Masters sat up straight, looking the two of them right in the eye. 

“Very well, if you truly believe this is the correct path, we grant you the permission to seek out the Queen’s hand. You will be allowed to keep your place in the Order, but you will not be allowed to be appointed to the Council.” 

Shiro brows came together, that was an odd sort of punishment. He never considered being on the Council before and truth be told, it was such a small price to pay. 

“But, Master!” Pidge was about to protested but Shiro held out his hand. 

“Enough Pidge, it’s more than fair,” he said, giving her a small reassuring smile. But she continued to frown. 

“Very well, you may leave,” Iverson finally said. The two of them bowed and exited the room hastily. 

And now Shiro could finally ask. 

“What was that all about?” 

Pidge kept a straight face, “What was what all about? I was just offering up a solution.” 

Shiro snorted, “You’re not as slick as you think. Lance already told me that you, Hunk, and he knew about Allura and me.” 

Pidge shrugged, “I told you back on Altea last year as well, it’s okay. Plus you’ve been so miserable lately. I couldn’t watch you losing one more thing that you grew to love. And you’re too law abiding to ask yourself. But those jerks just had to take any future on the Council from you.” 

Shiro shook his head, “It doesn’t matter. It’s a small price to pay for…” 

Pidge stopped and looked at him, “You really don’t understand why they did that, do you?” 

Shiro’s confused expression probably told her everything that she needed to know, but she shook her head once again. 

“We’ll talk about it later. Right now you have the most important mission of your life to complete,” she smiled, “Go get your girl, Shiro.” 

His girl. He liked the sound of that. But after everything, was she still his girl? 

“Stop that, go!” Pidge interrupted. 

He shot her one more grateful smile before running towards the hangar. And finally, a feeling that he had been feeling in his gut for a long time but ignored returned. It was...not quite dark but it was deep conflict and confusion. There were anger and heartbreak mixed in with it, but less so. 

_ Allura _ … 

He never flew into the sky and into space so fast…

* * *

 

Tomorrow was the day that she would be sending an envoy out to accept the proposal. She still viewed it with disdain, but it had to be done. Her feelings were so clouded that it seemed that she couldn’t think of anything she wanted more than to sleep. She also wanted to pretend this whole year had been a giant nightmare. That when she awoke, it would be back in her childhood home with her father still alive. Where she could have more time to learn to be a better leader and be able to handle all that had been thrust on her by the very same Empire she had agreed to marry into. 

She wanted to wake up to a world where she’d never met Shiro, either. Because then she wouldn’t have experienced love in its truest form before being bound to another, but she had. But perhaps he was right, she had to do what was right by her people and if she eloped with him, it would throw them into an even more uncertain future where she would neither have the support of the Jedi and the Republic nor the two Empires. It was risky and she hated it. She could stop thinking about him, but her heart wouldn’t allow it. Well then, she would force it to. 

As if the weather could read her state of mind, it rained heavily and lightning flashed outside. Her eye began to close when it snapped back open. Someone was there. She grabbed her lightsaber and got into a stance. It didn’t matter that she was in a simple nightgown and was otherwise vulnerable. She’d only had one experience in a true battle, but it didn’t matter. 

The window to the balcony flew open, a bolt of lightning flashed then. She was afraid, she was shaking but she couldn’t show that, she refused to. 

“Allura…” the dark figure said breathlessly and her eyes widened as she lowered her defenses only a little. 

“Shiro…” she whispered, reaching out but keeping her feet planted firmly in place. 

‘ _ Don’t be fooled, he’s just here to confuse you… _ ’ the voice returned. 

She didn’t want to listen to the voice, but it had a point. Shiro’s arrival had brought to the surface emotions that she’d tried to bury deep over the past several weeks. 

“Why are you here?” she tried to demand firmly, but it sounded shaky. And she hated it. 

He stepped forward but stopped at the hardened look on her face, “I’m here to ask you not to marry the Galran Prince.” 

Her mouth dropped into that of a frown, oh that’s what it is. But...how? 

“How do you even know about that?” 

“The Council informed me…” he responded. In the dark, she couldn’t see his face very well. She couldn’t see the pleading look, the look asking for forgiveness. The look that would’ve informed her that he loved her still and that he was ready to give her whatever she had asked of him before. 

She laughed bitterly. It was such a harsh sound that it made Shiro flinch. 

“I see, still doing the Council’s bidding. You’re here because they sent you here, not of your own will.” 

“No, I-,” he tried to say but Allura reached out a hand and before Shiro could register what she was doing, he was being thrown back and his back hit the wall hard. She now walked towards him, her ignited lightsaber illuminated her face, a look of rage painted on her beautiful features.

‘ _ That’s it, finish him. He’s just going get in the way. You can’t be his and he won’t let you be anyone else’s.’  _

She was about strike and she had gotten fast enough that Shiro barely dodged. Her senses seemed to have been sharper than they had been before. He moved and so did she, ready strike. He ignited his lightsaber just in time and white clashed with purple. 

“Allura, please! Hear me out!” he begged but she wasn’t having it. 

“You wouldn’t hear me out before you walked away, why should I offer the same courtesy,” she hissed. 

They jumped back and Shiro tried again, “That was my mistake! I shouldn’t have done that! I should have listened to you from the beginning.” 

Her face softened and her eyes widened. He...what? 

‘ _ Don’t listen to him! _ ’ the voice hissed. ‘ _ Finish him now and embrace your destiny! _ ’ 

The voice won and she charged at him once again. Shiro found that he couldn’t talk, not when she was like this. A flash of white and purple could be seen if one were standing just below the balcony.

She was fast and Shiro was purely on the defensive. He wasn’t going to attack her no matter how many times she came for him, but he was becoming overwhelmed by the barrage of attacks. 

And finally, she was able to land a blow on his side. He hissed as the blade burned through his robes and seared the skin under. 

He had to jump back, just for a bit. He didn’t want to have to attack her but if she killed him right here and there, it would condemn her own soul. It would send her down the path of the dark side, a path that was near impossible to come back from. 

She was charging again but this time he held out a hand and Force pushed her into another wall, lightsaber flying right out of her hand. Perfect, he could end this right now. Once again, he used the Force to grab the lightsaber and ignited them both. 

She barely registered him walking towards her, both lightsabers in his hand, a look of utter desperation on his face. 

And that’s when she saw it. Mixed in with the desperation, there was the pleading, the guilt, and most of all...love. 

‘ _ You fool, don’t fall for it! Use the Force and finish him! Now’s your chance! _ ’ 

If she had been confused before, it was nothing compared to her feelings now. She wanted to listen to him, but the voice was so desperate to tell her to finish him and embrace her destiny. 

Why? 

“I don’t understand…” she confessed softly, getting up. Her body ached from the hard push, but nothing was broken. Just bruised, like everything else within her. 

Shiro’s face softened, deactivating both lightsabers but keeping them close. He loved her, this was true, but he wasn’t a fool. 

“It’s my fault really, but I was only thinking of myself. Our destinies always seem to be leading us together,” he whispered. 

“But why? If you want nothing to do with me, if you wanted to end everything, why are you hear acting like…” she didn’t dare say it. She felt weak. He could sense it. 

Because truth be told, he was feeling weak as well. 

“Like I want your forgiveness and beg for you to take me back? Because I mean it,” he answered, approaching her cautiously like he would a scared animal. 

“No, not that. Like you love me still,” she whispered, daring to say the words. She did feel stupid for saying it because part of her knew that he’d never stopped but the other part questioned if he ever did. 

“Because I do. I always have. I always will. That’s why I can’t let you do this. And…” the words stuck in his throat. 

Tears cascaded down her cheeks, knowing that he was telling the truth. Her heart was screaming at her to accept him back. Even her mind was telling her the same. Only the whisper in her ear was yelling. 

‘ _ No! _ ’ 

And she ignored it as she collapsed on her knees. Shiro fell with her, his strong arms enveloping her. She didn’t return the embrace. 

“I can’t kill you. I can’t even be angry with you, not for long,” she whispered, barely audibly. “Even if you didn’t actually love me, I can’t bring myself to do anything bad to you.” 

Shiro held her tighter, she felt almost limp in his arms. 

“I love you. I always have. I know I’ve never actually said it, but it’s how I’ve always felt. I haven’t known a single moment’s peace since I left you. It took me several weeks to realize it, but you were right. The Council isn’t always right. In fact...even if they hadn’t approved, I would still be here. Because more than being a Jedi, you’ve brought me happiness.” 

She pushed back to study his face, tears began falling from his eyes as well. It surprised her, she’d never actually seen him cry. He was telling the truth. She grabbed his face gently with both hands, the pads of her thumbs brushing the tears away. 

“I love you too, I’m so sorry. I…” she couldn’t even begin to form coherent thoughts let along speak them. 

“Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay,” he placed one hand on her cheek. 

She couldn’t help herself, she moved forward and captured his lips with her own. He didn’t hesitate either, one hand cupping her cheek, the other running through her thick, white hair. 

Their lips moved, but it seemed gentle, cautious even. They’d kissed many times before, they’d done a lot more too, but this time felt different. 

Finally they broke apart and their foreheads touched. 

“I did come to ask for something else,” he finally said, after several minutes. 

She looked up at him curiously. 

He unwrapped his arms from around her and grabbed her hands. 

“This seems really quick but I don’t know how else to do this. I never thought I would ever get the chance,” he confessed, the young woman in front of him giving him a bewildered look. 

“Would you...if you wish...marry me?” he flinched at how poorly that was worded and he saw her eyes widening as the words sunk in. 

“I know what I said before and even if I didn’t have the Council’s approval I would still be here and…” he babbled, only to be shut up with her tackling him and capturing his lips in a searing kiss. 

“Yes. Yes, I will. I’ll tell the envoys tomorrow to not bother, but yes…” 

He smiled, she looked so happy, tears falling without end, dampening his own face. 

“It’s settled then…” he chuckled. 

“Tomorrow,” she said quickly. 

“Tomorrow?” it was his turn to be confused. 

“We’ll have a private ceremony tomorrow. We can do a public one later, but I want something that we can have for ourselves,” she clarified and Shiro’s eyes widened. 

“Such short notice, don’t you want-?” he asked, but was silenced by a finger on his mouth. 

“What I want...is you. I don’t know how you managed to convince the Council, but with their approval I can tell as much that they will be on our side from now on. That is a more than I could ever ask for.” 

He didn’t say anything more, he didn’t have to. They just embraced. Shiro didn’t care, as long as he had her in the end. With her by his side, he could fight anything and everything. She had said that he gave her strength...but truly she gave him strength. They were stronger together. That was one thing the Council would truly never grasp…

He brushed a kiss against her forehead. Both of their bodies relaxed. Tomorrow, neither could wait for it…

* * *

 

There was a small pavilion located on a lake just a little ways from the castle. It was a little out of the way, so it was perfect for a small intimate ceremony. 

Shiro was the first to arrive. The water in the morning was calm and the sun was still peaking over the horizon. He didn’t have anything formal on, just his black cloak over his robes. 

“Well, well, look at you!” distracted in his thoughts, he didn’t sense the three very familiar presences behind him. 

He turned on his heel to see Lance, Pidge, and Hunk smiling brightly at him. He blinked, they were here? But how? 

“Well Pidge grabbed us last night, saying that we needed to be here by morning because she had a feeling something was either going to go wrong or something was going to go really right,” Hunk answered, seemingly reading his thoughts.

“And from the looks of it, things are going very right,” Pidge added on. 

Shiro shook his head and smiled fondly at his three friends. 

“Well, I’m getting married,” he announced and three ran over to hug him. 

“Finally! It took you long enough,” Lance laughed. 

Everything seemed right but obviously there was one thing missing. He didn’t let the minor sadness show, but it would’ve been made perfect if Keith had been there as well. Shiro knew it was foolish to hope, but part of him always would. And he would welcome him back. 

But he chased those thoughts from his mind. He was getting married today, he couldn’t let thoughts of Keith mar it. 

“Oh, witnesses, splendid!” a jolly voice forced them to jump apart. Coran stood there, a book in hand, but it wasn’t him that made his breath hitch. 

It was Allura, in all her beauty, standing next to him with her arm around Coran’s. Her hair was worn loose with a white veil covering most of it. The dress was simple enough, sleeveless and lacy. It hugged her soft curves gently and flowed to the floor. 

“Shall we?” Coran asked and Allura nodded her head. 

Pidge, Hunk, and Lance stood there, holding their ignited lightsabers and smiling. Shiro wasn’t paying much attention. He was just looking at her and she was just looking at him. Nothing else seemed to matter, nothing else seemed to exist. 

“I do,” he whispered when asked. 

“And I do too,” she whispered back. 

The ceremony continued, most of Coran’s words were more or less about commitment and what not. He wasn’t looking forward to an even longer, drawn out ceremony in front of millions, but at least we would have her. 

“I now pronounce you man and wife!” Coran chimed cheerfully. 

And Shiro bent down into a kiss so soft and passionate that everyone else looked away. They broke apart, finally one, and held each other. She looked so happy, happier than he had ever seen her. It warmed his heart that after everything she had endured over the past year, he was able to give her this kind of happiness. 

“I love you,” he declared, soft enough so that only she could hear. 

“And I love you,” she whispered back. 

And that’s all that mattered in that moment… 

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is actually a one-shot of something I've been planning. Originally I wasn't going to write this but I thought it would be the perfect Secret Santa gift because it focused solely on Shiro and Allura's relationship. Yeah, sorry for the Jedi Order bashing, but there's a lot wrong with them. Also about the voice in Allura's head: I did drop a hint. Let's see who gets it! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed! :)


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